another step along the road to becoming a crazy cat lady, walk with me as i explore the lighter side of interpreting opinions my cats don't really have

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

what would kittehs do with a mouse?

says: @ A mouse tried to run away from me, but I caught it. What should I do with it?

fraggle: bring it to me and i will decide for you.

widget: ok, what you gotta do is smack it around a little until it's kinda loopy. then you let it go for a sec, but just a sec. when it thinks it's about to get away you smack it one, bam! right across the ear. then, and this is important, you gotta take it in the house. find something light colored, that will really show off stains. now you hold it down on the floor, preferably on carpet, something really hard to clean. you wanna be able to go back and remind yourself of it for weeks, right?
now you wail for a while. make sure any humans who live with you will hear you and come to watch. you gotta have an audience, see?
and then, only then, as the humans are doing that funny thing where they try to get it away from you and start commenting on how you chose the spot that will stain the most, you kill it.
your choice here really. i have my favorite way, you have yours. but make sure you make it messy. maybe hang some guts out as you drag it around on the floor.
you got that? good.

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