another step along the road to becoming a crazy cat lady, walk with me as i explore the lighter side of interpreting opinions my cats don't really have

Thursday, July 21, 2011

the mice are always browner on the other side

Andrea asks: why do cats always sit around staring out windows?

hear that chatter? that's widget practicing killing small animals.

: i don't really sit around staring out windows, myself. i like to go outside but if i'm inside i'd rather be napping or reading. the appeal of the outside through the window used to be a big part of my day, when i lived near a busy road and couldn't actually go out. it was something to do. otherwise, it's just so boring to sit inside and stare at the walls. you can tell by the way that these cats in the friskies cat cam experiment spend a lot of time looking out windows

windows are awesome. if i can't see out the window i knock stuff over until i can. when i look out the windows here i can watch the deer and the birds and the neighbor's chihuahua who poops on the lawn. mom got him on video, maybe you can see him through the blinds? don't worry, he's not actually pooping in this clip

hugh: i like to look out windows. i'm a good cat and i don't go outside so i only look out windows. i promise. at my last place sometimes i could look out the window into the backyard and watch bunnies. the bunnies are a lot bigger here

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Wednesday, July 20, 2011

ChipIn for Alley Cats and Angels

from Alley Cats and Angels of NC

"This year we have had three eye enucleation (removal) surgeries, one diaphragmatic hernia surgeries, an ultrasound to check for kidney stones, and last week a perineal urethrostomy ("PU") surgery for a cat with a urethral obstruction (the PU surgery took 3/4 of our yard sale money). "

because of situations like miranda panda , lacey , tripod kitty and many more, the emergency medical bills for the rescue are over $10,000.00 already this year, beating last year's total of just under $9,000.00 for the whole year.

Please consider donating to help us help those cats less fortunate.

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the kitteh's aunt has a birthday

fraggle and widget would like people to know that their favorite [only] auntie has a birthday coming up and she has asked for donations to
Alley Cats and Angels in lieu of gifts

they used to live with her, with their mom, for a while and she's got a comfy purse

and tasty treats for kittehs.

plus she does a lot of volunteering and works really hard volunteering and making sympathy and thank you cards to help all the kittehs, not just her own.

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the kittehs discuss going outside

Carolina Cats said...

We kno you get to go owtside wenefur you want. How do we get owr humanbean to allow this? We is only allowed owt for a few minits! Just enuff time to snarf some grass and haf a rollover in the sunshine.

Buddy & Finny
(Princess Jazzy doesn't want to go owtside)

fraggle: early on i tried asking to be let out but found it ineffective. eventually i resorted to opening the front door when it wasn’t deadbolted and leaving it open all day while the human was at work. this made it easy to leave and enter whenever i chose. clearly the human was dissatisfied and acceded to my demands by installing a flap in the window. if she’s going to be gone overnight she shuts the window AND deadbolts the doors so we are stuck but i pay her back by hiding in the closet for a few hours after she returns. her panic amuses me.

also i’ve proved my physical prowess around the neighborhood by making sure my human sees me showing dominance over the other species. the snakes, birds, bunnies, chihuahuas, bats and foxes all know better than to mess with me. i haven’t caught a deer or a coyote yet, but not for want of trying. It’s just a matter of time

i'd show you the video but i'm currently unable to embed it, so here's the link.

fraggle's pet snake

widget: used to be i could only go outside when i broke out, like that time i knocked out the window screen in the bedroom and jumped out. i didn’t know how to get back in then. but when we were living at my auntie’s house i peed on the floors a lot. in bad places too, where it made the floor swell up. then i wasn’t allowed in. i had to live in the garage with the cats who didn’t want to come in. but mostly i would stand at the back door and howl a lot. now i get to do both. it helps that if we aren’t allowed out, fraggle just opens the door for us anyway.

hugh: shhhh!!!! i don’t go outside. that’s not allowed! that’s a bad cat thing! i'm not a bad cat. don’t tell anyone and i won’t pee in your shoes.

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Tuesday, July 19, 2011

reader questions

7781e6b2-b238-11e0-95fd-000bcdcb8a73 said...


lasers. L.A.S.E.R. s - light amplification by stimulated emission of radiation. i will ignore it unless it shines into my eyes. at which point i will bite the hand of the idiot wielding the stupid toy

huh? shiny? oooh, make it go faster! it's like a shiny red bug. why won't it go in my mouth? does it taste good? can i have more?

i can't hear you from under here. i'll come out when the scary thing goes away

Monday, July 18, 2011

humans kinda suck

today we have a special guest post from our house guests, spike and nala

spike, tell us about yourself

spike: well i come from a broken home. my dad had to go away for a little while and i was supposed to move in with him soon at his new place down south. but my mom decided not to wait and took me and my big sister, nala, to kitty jail. it was super crowded. my dad found out and made some calls and this human came to get me. she didn't know about nala then but she sent another human back for nala later and now we are staying in what she keeps calling a 'guest room' i don't know why we can't check out the rest of the house and it's kind of annoying. but we have food and water and a really weird litter box with a lid. but it's kind of neat to see deer and birds and stuff out the window so we do that a lot.

spike, i think the human told you about why you can't go out. there's a door that you could get out of and get lost outside. there's coyotes and scary stuff out there.

spike: so when do we get to go to dad's? this is boring.

as soon as we can find you a ride to florida. we're working on it


nala, why don't you share a little bit about your side of the story?

brush me! brush meeeeeee! bruuuuuuuuuuuuush me! brushmebrushmebrushmebrushmebrushme. BRUSH ME!!!

i think that's all we're going to get out of nala today folks.
if you know of anyone who wants to help get spike and nala home from central NC to the east coast of florida, not far from west palm beach, leave a comment!

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meet hugh!

HI! i've never blogged before. what's blogging? is it good to eat? is it scary? am i allowed to do it? if i'm allowed to do it i don't think it'll be any fun. i really like doing stuff i'm not allowed to do. don't tell anyone but sometimes at my new house i sneak outside through the little door in the window. but if i was allowed to do that it wouldn't be fun. then i'd have to pee on the
carpet again like at my last place. i know i'm not allowed to do that anywhere!

so tell me, how are you all adjusting to hugh coming to live with you? he's one of the Alley Cats and Angels kitties, right? what they call a 'lifer' because he's not very adoptable?

there hasn't been time to share my enlightened opinions and wisdom with you lately. i've been busy plotting the demise of that overgrown orange hairball. if you'll excuse me, i'm due for my turn at blocking the cat door and locking him out of the house.

widget: i like hugh. he doesn't butt in line for treats. i don't think hugh is very smart, not like me. he tried to walk under my belly the other day and knocked me right over because he's really tall. but i've gotten used to cuddling with him


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Tuesday, March 22, 2011


Kitten Alley / Alley Cats and Angels NC asks: how do you feel about polydactyl cats?

fraggle: envious. can you imagine what i could do with thumbs? merely opening doors and turning on faucets would be a thing of the past. i could get my drivers license.

widget: paw-what? awww, lookit the babies! can i wash their heads?

more kittens

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Sunday, March 20, 2011

schrodinger's cats they are not

kim asks:
@ what about cardboard boxes? All cats like cardboard boxes! ...Right?

fraggle: there you go assuming that just because SOME cats have achieved internet celebrity due to some sort of weird fetish, that ALL cats like boxes, frankly, i find boxes to be rather uncomfortable. there's no padding, just hard surfaces. give me a squishy cat bed any day over a cardboard box.

widget: i like the flat ones with food in them. but when the food is gone, they aren't even good for biting on anymore. i kind look like maru though, don't you think? maru's funny

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you asked for it

kittehs, according to the poll, readers want to know your opinion on charlie sheen.

that actor prowling around looking for the next queen in heat? always making a scene and yowling about getting caught? shameless really. classic tomcat. i'm surprised he didn't get a flowerpot to the head long before this. now go away, i have to make myself pretty.

he's that guy on that show with the other guys, right? i like the farting kid, he's funny.
and he's always got something to eat. i like eating

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Thursday, February 24, 2011


sorry for the delays in new posting. the kittehs were too busy to share their opinions with me last week because they were sitting on me while i was home with the flu. and this week they've been scouting out the land next door while i've been talking to the bank about maybe buying it.
in the meantime i have this short video of widget on the vacant lot next door

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

cats on books, books on cats

what are your thoughts on the recent library closings and potential library closings due to budget cuts all over the US?

fraggle: as you can see, i prefer computers to books. turning the pages is kind of difficult but track pads were clearly designed with paws in mind. however, the local library has a great online selection of books and a whole reference department online. unfortunately they seem to be quite lacking in copies of the anarchist cookbook. but the section on automotive manuals has been MOST instructive. brakes lines are just within reach of even petite felines like myself... muahahahahahaha.... ahem, where was i? oh, yes, anyway, if the libraries closed, i'd be most put out.

widget: mostly i like tv. books aren't very comfy to sleep on, they don't get warm like the tv does. and the tv has moving things that are fun to look at. but books are good for naps. see, when my human has a book she sits real still for a long time and makes a lap. and books only take one hand so there's a hand free for belly rubs. i know my human gets lots of books from the library so maybe if there wasn't a library i wouldn't get as many belly rubs. i'ma gonna go watch tv now. that spiky headed blond guy on the food network is talking about ribs and barbecue.

*catastrophegirl says: the title of this entry is a nod to the history of my love of books - legible leftovers in longwood FL. i think it's closed now but it was a fantastic bookstore that had resident cats. one of them lived in a bassinet and was too fat to get up but he'd come follow me when i searched the stacks because i always brought a string of beads to trail along the floor behind me. only place i could shop for books and play with cats at the same time.

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paper or plastic

Amy and The House of Cats said...

paper or plastic - which bag is more fun to play with? That is a big debate at our house.

fraggle: does the plastic bag have something interesting in it? perhaps treats?

i think Amy means a grocery bag, fraggle.

fraggle: oh, no, around here those are poop bags. or they get nasty stuff from the fridge that has to be thrown out before garbage day. i don't like to play with those.

widget: bags? i keep finding paper bags on the kitchen floor with treats in them. i go eat the treats but when someone taps on the bag it kinda freaks me out and i have to go hide. which sucks because sometimes i don't finish the treats first. i wish they'd just give me the treats and not put them in a bag. it's dark in there.
i don't play with the poop bags either.
i like to play with belts though. also scarves, sashes, and the long tie thing on the bathrobe.

this is the most i've ever seen widget play with a paper bag, big or little. and there was food in it.

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editor's note

Hey, sorry, if you look at the page and see the content of your comment removed, it wasn't that you said anything offensive, it's just the only way I have to remove private information that was mentioned in the comments. I do not normally share the information as to what state me and the kittehs are located in. I've got a stalker.
And if it comes down to keeping the blog or hiding where I live, I'm ditching the blog.
As of right now, I'm going to be moderating all comments.
Thanks for understanding

Thursday, February 3, 2011

Today we have three products for the kittehs to review. please note neither the kittehs nor their human have ever used these products, nor seen them in person. opinions are based solely on the photos and product descriptions on the seller's website.

The Precise Portion Pet Feeder

fraggle: if i lived alone, sure, this would be great. i eat in little bites throughout the day. go for a run, catch something furry, come in and grab a snack. but living with mega butt here, well, if it dispenses 1/4 cup at a time, i'd starve. already i'm always in line behind him for food as it is. i don't want to be licking crumbs off the bottom of the feeder. paws up, as soon as i get rid of the piggie, until then, paws down.

widget: i bet i could get it open and get all the food out at once. i like looking at a big shiny jar of food. totally paws up.

The Warming Cat Bed

fraggle: it looks nice. comfortable. fairly defensible in case of attack. i have one already without the heat or the cover on top. i do worry about lack of visibility. i'd want the cover turned toward the wall so i can see my enemies sneaking up on me. paws up.

widget: mmm, snuggles. it says it's for dogs too. do i have to share with the dogs? i don't think our dog would fit in it but the yippy dog next door would. i'd have to sit on him though. he never shuts up and i wouldn't be able to sleep. paws up as long as i don't have to share with the yippy dog.

The Canine's Misting Oasis

fraggle: so... it's a place to put a dog outside in the heat and then make it wet. you've invented something that makes hot wet dogs? HOT WET DOGS. do you even have a nose? paws down. all the way down!

widget: does it come with a cabana boy? no? then why bother? paws down

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