house guests of the uninvited kind

so in the last few months there have been some problems with interlopers at the house. can you guys share your opinions on the following critters?

fraggle: what raccoon? i don't see a raccoon. seriously, i'm not stupid. i'll beat up a fox but the fat bandit is scary dangerous. i'm avoiding it.

widget: it eats all my food. and makes the water in the fountain funny. *pout*

hugh: i'm not here. you don't see me. don't look under the bed!!!!

tater: dude, i got this. see the raccoon comes in the cat door, right? just saunters on by and doesn't mess wit' nobody. so we're cool.

fat bandit: hey! hey! thanks for inviting me over! i love the new fountain! you have great snacks! hey! why are you chasing me! i don't wanna go home! hey! it's cool! i'll come back later!



okay, so what about this guy? we last saw him last winter when he was just a skinny little black streak running out the cat door. but he's gotten bigger [looks tomcattish and hasn't been observably pregnant, so without checking we are guessing "him"]
i know you guys have some strong opinions because i've heard you talking to him

fraggle: when he's outside, we're cool. he can hang out under the car all day for all i care.

widget: he eats all my food. he just - EATS IT!! it's like he doesn't even care that i'm going to starve to death

hugh: GRRRR! i don't like him one bit. when he's around i am a good boy and i guard the fortress. he shall not pass! i'm a good boy!

tater: it's cool. i mean, he's not so bad. sometimes, man, we hang out, we sit around, catch some rays.

feral tom: seriously, could you talk to that orange one? he's nuts. i just want to grab a snack. it's bad enough i can't come by at night anymore because of that fat bandit but he's all up in my business whenever i stop by for a little lunch.


and here's a strange little non cat. have you met?

fraggle: he smells funny. he doesn't come around much but when he does, the carport just sets off my sniffer. whew!

widget: the weird looking cat? he's kind of pointy. but he doesn't eat my food. i like him. he can come by any time!

hugh: he showed me some neat hidey holes. when i am in my hidey holes you can't see me. he's a good hider.

tater: he's kinda skittish. i mean, he just toddles away when i come around. it's like he's scared of me. what a chicken.

pointy faced cat: lady, quit looking at me.